Esse ano se não formos mais, não seremos menos...mas ja não somos mais nada, né camarada? eu provavelmente nem lembrança, e você é sempre neblina.
This year if we are not anyMORE, we won't be less...but we are nothing already, don't you agree fellow? I am not even memory, probably...and you are always a smog.

I was so quite
saw your image and lost sleep.
Wanted to draw out the time machine. Wanted to never let you go. Wanted to never have known you. Wanted to break into your dreams. Wanted to send you all these lines. Wanted all the sea salt...

more "with love" mess

Maybe you hate me or love me, I can't find a better answer for your silence... it's just hit me, maybe you despise me or I don't exist anymore in your world. That last option can and can't be, I passed trhough your life, maybe I'm not present now, but...if it's it then I wish I could be these strong as you are. Even now, that I'm feeling healed and safe from my obesession ('cause I'm starting to not believe that it is love) I can't deny that you are here within me somehow, as erased fingertips, but they are still there!
If you only talked to me, if you only stoped to pretend that you don't know me... I certain don't know you anymore.
Someday I will learn how to end those a chords, and I'll break your door down, and let you know that:
-Oh yeah, I've really loved you all these time (ok, I'm cured of thinking it's obsession) Loved you so much that only could wish you were fine, no matter who was with you, since the person respect and loved you back. Loved you, 'cause I always knew that more than anything we had our friendship, our complicity. As I knew it would take sometime so we could be close again.But you got your things on a matchbox, you went forget about me. You put your hate, love or despise in a bag, decided to ignore my existence. But you also forget my friend, that little true of universe, maybe 'cause you have decided to kill the little child inside of you as well-You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed- What about me? I adore you, I don't want you to leave the bolt. I'm really sorry for anything,I can't see what I've done of so wrong, I've always been sincere with you.Have I hurt your ego? Sometimes I think that you didn't really cared about me, anyways I never meant to hurt you. And hurts me so much when I suspect people made worst with you, and you are still there...hanging out on second avenue eating chicken vindaloo and I just want to be with you. Man, I miss you!

Now that I feel sane, I walk towards the door, before I close it I finish the a chords and sing along them:
-How I wish
How I wish you were here.

I did it, couldn't hold myself now I had an excuse.
I hold my breath, ihale and exhaled so my voice could sound calm.
Your voice, your voice! It sounded so peacefull, so smooth. Hearing to it my heart trembled and all these silly things of an teenager passion crashed into my mature soul.
-Bye, it's been good talking to you.

tututututututututu

It's a shame I won't see you soon. And we used to see each other so faster than soon,those first love, those first lovers...

Today, although I haven't dreamed of you, although I was believing I could stop thinking about you...well, I saw one picture, looked really inside your eyes and then I thought about you. I spent the afternoon looking at the telephone, almost called you, at least hear your voice...oh how I wish.
I miss you.
"Today I introduced myself,
To my own feelings,
In silent agony, after all these years,
They spoke to me... after all these years"(Fragile Dreams/Anathema)

Gosh, I'm so old to write these things!

Not a princess day

Today, as I was going up the stairs, I realized how I am a lone wolf .Always lone, going from one side to other, going to bed and waking up. Days would go into the silence if there wasn't the noise from the street, or the music from my computer.
And what concerns me most is how much I desire it. Do I? oh, yeas I do...not so much, 'cause at the same time I'm always dreaming about someone by my side. Well, maybe not for a long time, just enough to feed my needs of being held, kissed, and whatever comes, enough to feel...well...that's the main subject here..feel this fuck weird, but necessary thing: love, which doesn't have to be eternal, although even Carcass agree that there is no love lost.
The thing is, today I've found out that I'm a lone wolf.
Still I have my needs, my desires I am a lone wolf. So I'm going to keep fallowing my unknown way, and if I find you my love(s), I'll take you, I'll feed you, as you will do with me.But I'll be gone as soon the full moon disappear.(wouldn't you?)
Do not take me as a person who don't have feelings, I do, and I know that somehow something will always be alive, as I know that great love histories are fated to the failure,'cause "Babe, baby, baby, I'm gonna leave you...I can hear it calling me the way it used to do".
I aint no rockstar, I aint no whore, it is just that
today I realized, today I woke up feeling I'm a lone wolf...as I was going up the stairs...